Imbecexual

SAM AND THE CITY TV Ep 10 - What women want next: the technosexual?
May 9, 2007

Marketing 101: To sell a product, any product, take a word that ends with "o" and append "sexual" to create a new and exciting consumer buzzword. E.g. A man who appreciates great literary works is known as an Othellosexual, a man of Irish origins is known as a Potatosexual, and a man who works in a music shop is known as a Pianosexual.

Think for a moment of Hollywood star Jude Law (which isn't all that difficult to do). He's hot. He's bad. He's irresistibly sexy. But did you know he was also the original "technosexual" icon?

No, he wasn't. Everybody knows it was Matthew Broderick in War Games. Geez.

He knows how to navigate everything from our bodies to our Blackberries, can carry a conversation about anything from art to artichokes, and still looks good while he does it.

Art to Artichokes eh? I feel for the poor bastard should the topic of Aqueducts or ASCII ever arise.

Montalvo's official definition of the techno is this: "A dandyish narcissist in love with not only himself, but also his urban lifestyle and gadgets; a straight man who is in touch with his feminine side but has fondness for electronics such as cell phones, PDAs, computers, software, and the web."

Dave's definition is some cunt with an IQ of 100 that doesn't appreciate the genius that went in to creating those gadgets.

Woman needed him to know how to use moisturiser (god knows why), where the nearest David Jones was (incase he wanted to buy himself a Polo shirt) and how to wax that sinister looking mono brow. (Some went so far as to get the Brazilian bikini wax - for men!) Yes, the metrosexual had entered into our lexicon.

The metrosexual may have entered the popular lexicon, but only because some guy had a few 40ft containers full of moisturiser he needed to ditch. Solution: Bundle it in blue tubes and scribble the words "For Men" on it.

But then the technology revolution hit.

Women bought themselves laptops, Blackberries, mobile phones, PDAs and iPods. And there was only one catch: they had no clue how to use them!

It seems like someone needs a history lesson. Everyone over the age of 25 knows that the technological revolution hit when blackberries came in punnets, mobile phones were something you threw at your wife when she didn't wash your undies, a PDA was some kind of foot fungus, and "Ipod" was just a typo.