How to discount groups of men based on shallow observations

How to tell a naked man (or woman) what to do
May 7, 2007

Just so we're clear up front, Sam added "(or woman)" as a token gesture so she didn't appear to be saying that men are the only sex who desperately need help when it comes to fucking - which, as all men know, is bullshit. We've all slept with at least one starfish in our time.

Dave's Awesome Fuck Tip For All The Bitches #1:
Kissing non-stop for 2 hours is boring. Stop it.

Here we have a "How To" sex guide written by a woman, for women, designed to help them get what they want. This book has been described as empowering and positive. I wonder, if the book was written by a man, for men, designed to help men get what they want - would it be described as archaic, insensitive and unrealistic?

Dave's Awesome Fuck Tip For All The Bitches #2:
Crying 2 minutes after sex about how daddy didn't love you is not a turn on - despite the fact you're naked and saying "Daddy". Also, we don't care.

Those tired old myths that some women rely on to be able to guage how good a root a man is have resurfaced - now with even more stupid! Apparently it's not just if we can dance, or what kind of drink we like but it's how we drive, and how we quickly eat our food. Next it'll be how many fingers we use to open the car door, or how long we take to shit. Well I say two can play at this game.

Dave's Awesome Tip For Spotting A Top Fuck Buddy #1:
If she's dainty and drinks a cocktail, she'll probably be afraid of your dick and touch it like it's some kind of alien earth worm. If she drinks longnecks, she'll probably be able to suck a Fiat through thirty feet of garden hose. If she sniffs petrol and smells like stale, chances are she won't remember all those nasty things you're going to do to her.

P.S. I got bored today and felt like abusing retards, so I'm probably about one post away off being banned on SATC. But that's okay, Movable Type's banning engine is shite and there's plenty of ways around it. Madlove having logins all over the world.